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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Baby Naming - It isn't as easy as you think.

Okay, so baby is past due - and because we don't announce our children's names until after they are born, the topic of conversation with EVERYONE who knows us has recently turned to baby names.

Just to reassure all of you . . . We have chosen something we adore . . . We promise she won't come home from the hospital nameless . . . but we aren't telling you what the name is yet!

For quite a long time now we have been talking about the new baby with our two little ones, so they have been involved in this name discussion too. They have come up with some cute suggestions, and some doozies.

Wanna' know their top choices?

Our son has chosen "Flower" (his sister morphed this one into "Daisy" - I like that name for our next puppy) My dad heard this suggestion and added his own 2 cents suggesting that "Child" would be a great middle name . . . "Flower Child" . . . I don't think so.

My 6 year olds likes "Honna" - not Hannah, Honna with a short O. I have no idea where this came from, but she loves this name and uses it regularly for the characters in the stories she makes up, for borrowed dolls, and now for her new baby sister.

We have also gotten many random-item-in-the-room suggestions from our two creative little ones. Want to come visit baby "Pencil" or little "Washcloth" anyone?

Clearly they haven't gotten this naming concept mastered yet, but neither have mommy and daddy. One of the major problems we have with baby naming is my husband's spectacular memory. It takes a lot more time and patience to discuss names and their implications with him than you can imagine. Even great names have random associations for him. A particularly grumpy 2nd grade teacher or obscure movie reference will completely eliminate names from our list. I know most people steer clear of the names of exes and psychopathic killers, but my guy seems to have trouble with any name that has actually already belonged to a human being EVER - unless it happens to be a name from his own family tree or one of his closest friends (he seriously has suggested his great grandmother's name "Meda" because he likes the history it conveys - yikes!). This funny name aversion is true regardless of whether he likes the person or not. Even if he adores you as a person, it is unlikely that he would be okay with us using your name for our baby simply because . . . I don't know why, just because the name is "used" I guess.

So as a result, the two of us will sit around coming up with lists of names we DON'T like because it is easier than finding names we both agree on. "Names to sleep outside" as my my husband likes to call them.

And then there are the real names that honest-to-goodness crazy parents have chosen. Here are some that the US Census bureau lists:

  • "Marry A. Jerk"
  • "Willie B. Long"
  • "Georgebush" (all one word)
  • "Young Boozer"
  • "Emma Royd"
  • "Vaseline"
  • "Lust Garten"
  • "Maya Buttreeks" (poor kid)
  • "Lard"
  • "Mayo Head"
  • "Satan"
  • "Aryan Justice" (yes really, she was born in 2005)
  • "Doctor Love"
  • "Gamble Moore"
  • "Hugh Jass"
  • "Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" (pronounced "Your Highness" of course)
  • "Ivana Tinkle"
  • "Dinner Ware"
  • "Bread White"
  • "Ima Wh*re" (they actually spelled it with the "o" but I simply can't!)
  • "Violence"
  • "Lemon Jello"
  • "I.P. Freely"
  • and NH's own "Dick Swett" (can you believe he won office with that name!!!)

What were these parent's thinking??? Their debacles make me feel better about our own naming struggles. Comparatively, little "Flower Child" would be doing great on the school yard.

This naming business is tough stuff!


Nate, Michelle, Trent, Dylan and Aliya said...

Sheryl, this post was SO FUNNY!!! It is true...Nate and I keep talking about the baby name. We are just so excited for you guys and we can't help taking our daily guess as to what her name will be. We can't wait. Now quit playing on the computer and get walking lady!!!! :) :) We love you and miss you tons!

Doris said...

Now that you have picked a beautiful name forget Michelle's idea of walking JUST HAVE A BABY!!!! IT'S AS SIMPLE AS ONE TWO THREE.