Crying in the Rain

Stubbornness runs in our family. Honestly. There is an infamous story about my husband sitting on the porch as a child, n@ked, in below freezing weather. He was so intent on doing things his own way that he wrapped his clothing around him rather than put it on as his parents requested. This weekend my son had his turn to live out this story.

Each morning when we are at camp our routine is to dress and then go next door for breakfast. So, when we asked my 4 year old to get dressed we certainly weren't asking anything unusual, BUT he decided that he was too cold to take his pajamas off. I warned him that if he wasn't ready by the time I fed the baby and got his sister's hair brushed that we would leave, and he would have to stay behind with Daddy.

His response? He wailed louder, and lay on the ground. Everyone got ready, we made beds brushed teeth, the whole routine - and he cried. As we were putting on our coats and shoes we gave him another reminder that he couldn't go unless he was dressed. He still wouldn't obey . . . so I left with the girls.

Later my husband walked into the lower camp giggling. Our son had finally agreed to dress himself, but when Dad put the child's raincoat on "wrong" (buttoning only one button rather than all of them) he lost it again. Did he button them himself? No. Did he run quickly between houses to keep from getting wet and cold? No


He followed his father just a few yards and then stood on the path crying, and crying, and crying. For a LONG time. Well over 5 minutes, maybe 10. I'm not sure exactly how long, but it was REALLY LONG. And in the pouring rain no less.

So while he cried in the rain we sat in the warm camp eating our breakfast and watching his giant tantrum. It's probably a sign that I'm some sort of warped person, but I think it was actually really funny - who, other than a stubborn kid, would intentionally stand in the rain complaining that he is cold when he could walk just a few more feet and come indoors?

It was hard for all of us not to giggle when he finally realized that he wanted to come in more than he wanted to prove his point.

Discipline isn't easy - sometimes it is downright confusing. Remember this stunt he pulled? This kid is going to keep me on my toes.

Punishment???

You know a punishment has lost it's effictiveness when this happens:

Tonight our son crept out of his room after bedtime. I caught him and told him "Back to bed sweetie." His reply caught me off guard. He said "No thanks, I'd like a punishment!"

     Mom: "You want a punishment?"

     Son: "A Daddy one!"

     Mom: "What kind of punishment do you want Daddy to give you?"

     Son: "A kneeling one, with my head on the step."

     Mom: "Really?"

     Son: "Yup, a Daddy one."

     Mom: (trying not to giggle) "Wait at the top of the steps, I'm going to get your father."

I called in his father from outside and quietly explained this strange story.

Do you submit to your child's whims when they get out of bed after bedtime or do you punish them?  How do you punish a child who is asking to be punished? Does he really deserve a punishment or is he just in need of attention?  

We were interrupted by a little voice calling from the top of the steps "Don't forget hands behind the back . . . kneeling on the steps, hands behind the back!"

     Dad: "Back to bed, I'll tuck you in!" 

     Son: "No thanks, I want a punishment, The steps kind."

     Dad: "I'll carry you" (tries to lift child)

     Son: (kicking and crying) "No! I want a punishment!"

     Dad: "Okay, if that's what you want. Kneel at the steps."

     Son: "Hands behind my back?"

     Dad: "Yes, hands behind your back."

     Son: "Okay Daddy!"

After his "punishment" he happily trotted back to bed while we tried to hide our laughing.

So, did we punish him or not? I'm not sure . . . parenting is a strange business!