Pulling the Story Together

I promised several people that I would send them the link to my sister's adoption story, then I realized that the saga is currently scattered across the internet and getting to all of the bits involves a lot more than one link. So, for all of you who have asked, or are curious about, these three adorable boys, I tried to organize it a bit.

Click away. Everything should fall into chronological order.

If you are looking for the truly long version of the story, snuggle up with your laptop and read straight through my sister's blog starting at The Golden Ticket (click "newer post" at the end of each post and you should work your way forward in time), but be aware that it is long, there are several stories that are about other children waiting to be adopted, and you will see lots of fund raising information. To simplify I linked the most informational posts below.

Start here: Jen answers the question, "why adopt?"

Anxious about transfers - there are many posts similar to this one, but the idea conveyed is the same. These boys really didn't belong in the baby house any more, and the alternative was horrific institutionalization ... for life. From another post:

What does it mean...

Life

with only minimal amounts of food,

with very little attention,

with no thought to teaching basic hygine,

with little to no communication,

nor any form of education,

or any ability to age out of the institution.

They will never have a job,

never get married,

never feel the love of a family,

never blow out candles on their birthday,

never have a dad to take a thousand photos of them because of some minor accomplishment,

never catch rain drops.

The boys are promised to another family and the Demls must grieve and decide what to do next.

Traveling to Ukraine: Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Finding out that the boys are still available for adoption! Unbelievable!!

Day 11 - Permission to go to the boys' location

Meeting the boys!!!

First pictures

More pictures and more details

Rules, forgiveness, and hope

Groundhog day - aka. daily visitation

10 day waiting period - a deeper understanding of just how small the boys are for their age

Grandpa can't help with the flight home so Jen Miller steps up to help

Gotcha Day - The boys are now officially Demls!

Gotcha Day 2 - juggling more paperwork

Last day in Ukraine

Adventures in traveling from home from Kiev with 3 small children who neither speak your language, nor understand what is expected of them ... and the frustrating hoops that need to be jumped through.

Arriving in the US and meeting siblings for the first time

Home and thriving! Everything is new to these boys. I watched the 4 year old reach out to grab a lightbulb this evening simply because it was close and shiny. The sweet little guy had no understanding that it would be hot. As Jennifer says, they are in all in the 2 year old exploring stage. What we take for granted is fascinating to them, and it is impossible to predict what they will do next. They are all adjusting well, and play beautifully with their new siblings.

Keep checking out Jen's blog FillingTheHouseWithBlessings to see what great things happen next for my new nephews!

International Arrivals

Waiting is never easy. Waiting with children in airports can be . . . interesting. However, waiting in an airport with children who are looking forward to meeting their new siblings is a kind of excitement that is rivaled only by Christmas morning. It was fun to see all of the sleepy happy faces and to hear them chattering about their new brothers.

You would expect that with all that excitement, the kids would be bouncing off the walls and behaving poorly. Not at all. They spent a good portion of their time in an orderly line like this:

Okay, so they were flipping up, over, through and around the bars in their eagerness, but they were being good while doing it.

Our eyes were all glued on the gate. We knew that it would take a long time to clear customs, but it was simply impossible not to look. Old middle-eastern men got the same "is it them?" glance as ladies in wheelchairs and pilots. We had to check. I don't really think any of us believed that they would arrive in disguise, but not looking simply wasn't an option.

At last, we finally heard Dad's cheerful "They're Here!" ring through the terminal. (Of course, the 4 year old needed to take a trip to the potty just a moment before, so guess where Robert was when his wife and new sons walked through the gate. Grrr... we spit on you Mr. Murphy and your law!)

I loved the way that the kids greeted each other. There was no awkward phase, skirt clinging, or shyness. They were friends from the very first moment.

They locked eyes for the first time, smiled, and Elizabeth said "Hi Max, I want to show you something!" and off the two of them ran to look at the perpetual motion machine displayed nearby.

That's it. Siblings. Joined for life. Done in a moment.

It was a good thing that there weren't many arrivals at the terminal that night. We spread out, took over, and had a wonderful time getting to know one another. Gabriel showed off some yo-yo tricks, Andrew and Amy got down on the floor to play trucks and planes with their brothers, and even Lillia went around saying "Hi, Hi!"
From all of the interaction that went on, you would never guess that these kids speak different languages. It didn't seem to bother them in the least. Nothing can stop play.

Check out that look between Robert and Jen - proud parents of 9!

And just another bad word for Mr. Murphy and his awful law. I had the entire Deml family lined up for a beautiful family photo when my camera battery died. Aargh! I guess we will have to wait for another opportunity. ~ They have their entire lives together now, so I'm sure there will be time.

I am so honored to be part of such a great family.

Fairness vs. Kindness

We had an interesting conversation over the breakfast table this morning.

Is fairness important?

My husband was reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about a group of men who stole hundreds of millions of dollars, yet are being fined only a tiny portion of that amount, despite being found guilty. Without question, this is not fair to the poor misled investors who lost their assets.

But, how does that play out in our house?

At first glance it seems as if everyone should treat one another fairly ~ Equal portions of cake, equal time at the computer, everyone getting their fair share. Fairness should result in happiness for everyone, right?

Reality doesn't work that way. Not everyone should have cake. A 5 month old doesn't need it and Momma' may not even want it, so should it really be divided in a strictly "fair" way?

Or what about this example? We won tickets a while ago to a big BIG game, but had no interest in the sport, so we gave them away. It wasn't "fair," but it was kind, and we were happier to see the recipients enjoyment much more than we would have been to watch a game in which we have little interest.

We decided that kindness is more important than fairness.

If each person is intent upon treating others kindly, then fairness no longer matters. The baby will receive what she needs, despite being unable to fight for her "fair" share, and the person with the desire to see a game may be provided for, even if they do not have tickets.

Consider Matthew 6:25

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Fairness is being concerned about self - full of worry that things won't equal out in the end; worried that we won't be able to take care of ourselves in the future.

Kindness is being concerned about others - intentionally taking care of the needs that are around you, and allowing God to take care of us in his own timing.

Compelling thoughts for 7AM

Knowing and Teaching Elementary Mathematics

Phew!!! I made it.

This is absolutely not my style of reading, but I promised myself that I would read it, and I did it. Hooray for me!

Knowing and Teaching Elementary Mathematics was originally written as a graduate paper by Liping Ma, and it reads as such, Dry. Dry. Dry. But - it is revealing, and worth wallowing through.

My kids are just beginning their journey into the world of math, so I'll focus there, although the book discusses much more.

Undertaking the task of teaching young children sounds easy: 1 + 1, great, got it! ABC, okay, what's next? Oh, how very wrong that thought is. Simple concepts are the building blocks for bigger, more complex concepts. The sturdiness of the foundation is absolutely key to a great education.

As a kid, I was a good student, but honestly, never developed a great understanding of math. Sure, I passed algebra, calculus, and trigonometry, but I never knew why the procedures worked. I simply memorized formulas, plugged in the right numbers and spit out an answer. Now, years down the road, I neither remember the formulas, nor the purpose that they were designed to perform. I want something better for my own kids. Enter Ma's book.

In essence, the author urges teachers to develop a profound understanding of fundamental mathematics, not just knowing the surface of the procedures that they teach, but deeply understanding the theory behind mathematical actions. "It is not enough to know how, one must also know why."

What I took away from this book was a greater dedication to speak the truth to my children in regards to math. Statements such as "We can't subtract a bigger number from a smaller one" or "Just borrow a one from the next column," slip easily off my tongue, and I need to break these habits. It is easier to teach the truth once, and to teach it well. In the best case scenario, each lesson will reinforce my kids' previous learning, rather than causing them to have to start over with a new concept.

The reasons behind facts are more powerful than individual procedures. Period. My goal is to intentionally make these connections tangible and obvious for my kids, so that they can fully understand how all of their math lessons are related and how/why they work in real life.

So, despite its difficult writing style, my copy of Knowing and Understanding Elementary Mathematics has been underlined, highlighted, and written all over. It is full of excellent information, and is sure to be re-read.

Submitted to 52 books.

My next "12 Challenging Books" goal is to read Gone with the Wind. After my tedious but rewarding slog through Ma's work, I need something much more readable. This one will be challenging simply because of its length. 1048 pages of drama. I think this is going to be a fun month.

Flying Books

If you haven't yet seen The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore, then you are in for a treat. This adorable short is similar to Up stylistically, and the score puts Pop Goes the Weasel in an entirely new genre ... you just have to see it for yourself.

Run time is about 15 min. so grab a cup of coffee and enjoy

Hmm... The old link isn't working anymore. Try this one instead:

My kids all grabbed their journals immediately after watching this show and spent the next 30 minutes happily scribbling away. They even broke out the fountain pens so that they could write just like the character in the book.

Beautiful!

The view from my window

8 kids in the house

1 brief moment of silence

Thank you repair man!!!

God's Practical Gifts

I have been learning a lot about God's gifts recently.

I have this weird tendency to try to put all of God's gifts in tidy categories like these that sound lofty, intimidating and unreachable, but I am learning that God is much more practical than I imagined.

Take for instance the gift of shopping. Yes it could be lumped in with one of those lofty gifts, but in my world shopping is just, shopping, something we do regularly because we need stuff. But now I am learning that shopping can be a gift. I know it sounds strange, so bear with me a second and I will try to make sense of my thoughts.

A lovely lady (who shall remain nameless so that I don't embarrass her) asked how she could help me and I answered that it would be great if she could drop off bread, milk, and fruit. WELL, I expected to receive just that, a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a bag of apples ~ not on this dear woman's watch. We were bowled over with bags of amazing snacks to thrill children's hearts, laundry soap, baby bottles, the specific items that I requested, and much more that we needed, but I didn't even think to ask for. It felt so good, not just to receive the things we were desperate for, but to know that she cares and went to such lengths to help out, even though I'm sure it put a crimp in her own daily routine.

Personally, I am not blessed with the gift of shopping. Had a friend asked me for bread, milk, and fruit, they would have received just that. It would not have occurred to me to bless someone by shopping, but now that I have been personally touched in that way, I can see and feel God at work.

Another really practical gift I have recently become aware of is parenting. A lot of us are parents, but not everyone is gifted in the same way. God knows us, and he grants us wisdom and resources as parents to meet the needs of our children, but the ability to meet the needs of many children at once is not something all of us are able to do.

Then there are people like my sister. She has been given a very special gift. She has not only the passion for many children, but the astounding ability to keep her home running well while chasing several little ones in diapers, educating the older ones, and taking great care to meet the needs of her hearing impaired daughter. God created her this way. It truly is a special calling in her life and I am stunned when I stop and watch her.

God did not create me the same way, and I feel myself struggling to fill my sister's shoes while she is half a world away finalizing the adoption of their newest additions to the family. We currently have 6 adults scrabbling as best we can to take care of their 6 kids and fill the void left by just my sister and her husband. *Have you done the math yet? That is 1 adult to 1 child if we were able to all help out at the same time. The equation is faulty. I swear. Extra kids must be walking through my door when I'm not looking 'cuz the reality is that we are all busy every minute of every day. We are loving it, but we are tired.* Obviously, they (and their God-given abilities) are deeply missed and we anxiously await their return in a few weeks.

God is at work and we don't all serve in the same way. Isn't it interesting how the obvious can become so extraordinary when it touches you personally.