God's Practical Gifts

I have been learning a lot about God's gifts recently.

I have this weird tendency to try to put all of God's gifts in tidy categories like these that sound lofty, intimidating and unreachable, but I am learning that God is much more practical than I imagined.

Take for instance the gift of shopping. Yes it could be lumped in with one of those lofty gifts, but in my world shopping is just, shopping, something we do regularly because we need stuff. But now I am learning that shopping can be a gift. I know it sounds strange, so bear with me a second and I will try to make sense of my thoughts.

A lovely lady (who shall remain nameless so that I don't embarrass her) asked how she could help me and I answered that it would be great if she could drop off bread, milk, and fruit. WELL, I expected to receive just that, a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a bag of apples ~ not on this dear woman's watch. We were bowled over with bags of amazing snacks to thrill children's hearts, laundry soap, baby bottles, the specific items that I requested, and much more that we needed, but I didn't even think to ask for. It felt so good, not just to receive the things we were desperate for, but to know that she cares and went to such lengths to help out, even though I'm sure it put a crimp in her own daily routine.

Personally, I am not blessed with the gift of shopping. Had a friend asked me for bread, milk, and fruit, they would have received just that. It would not have occurred to me to bless someone by shopping, but now that I have been personally touched in that way, I can see and feel God at work.

Another really practical gift I have recently become aware of is parenting. A lot of us are parents, but not everyone is gifted in the same way. God knows us, and he grants us wisdom and resources as parents to meet the needs of our children, but the ability to meet the needs of many children at once is not something all of us are able to do.

Then there are people like my sister. She has been given a very special gift. She has not only the passion for many children, but the astounding ability to keep her home running well while chasing several little ones in diapers, educating the older ones, and taking great care to meet the needs of her hearing impaired daughter. God created her this way. It truly is a special calling in her life and I am stunned when I stop and watch her.

God did not create me the same way, and I feel myself struggling to fill my sister's shoes while she is half a world away finalizing the adoption of their newest additions to the family. We currently have 6 adults scrabbling as best we can to take care of their 6 kids and fill the void left by just my sister and her husband. *Have you done the math yet? That is 1 adult to 1 child if we were able to all help out at the same time. The equation is faulty. I swear. Extra kids must be walking through my door when I'm not looking 'cuz the reality is that we are all busy every minute of every day. We are loving it, but we are tired.* Obviously, they (and their God-given abilities) are deeply missed and we anxiously await their return in a few weeks.

God is at work and we don't all serve in the same way. Isn't it interesting how the obvious can become so extraordinary when it touches you personally.

Grammar according to Elmo

Have you ever heard Elmo?

Elmo loves flowers!

Elmo is going to the shoe store.

Elmo wants a carrot.

My youngest speaks just like Elmo - including the tiny up-swing in the pitch of her voice each time she mentions her own name. She refers to herself in the third person almost exclusively and I love it. She sounds so very TWO and I know that this sweet stage won't last.

The problem is that I am now doing it.

Mommy has to go to the car.

Can Mommy take your picture?

Mommy loves you.

In context, with my little girl beside me I can almost get away with this, but I just caught myself speaking this way to a friend ... AFTER all of my kids had been sent bed.

It is kinda' like the infamous mommy-bounce. You hold baby, sway and bounce, and baby falls asleep ... Repeat endlessly for years ... Until one day you realize that you are swaying and bouncing 5 pounds of sugar in the grocery checkout line and a stranger is working very hard not to laugh at you. It only takes one glance to see either the abject confusion or the amused sympathy in their eyes. You know instantly whether they are a parent.

Living with a 2 year old offers some very amusing challenges.

Morning Routine

I love lists. They are full of good intentions and order.

I love my kids too ... but the kids will never be mistaken for being orderly. They are, after all, kids. And second to speaking at ear-drum bursting decibels, they specialize in mess making.

A perfectly organized home isn't realistic, but I am determined to fight for basic cleanliness and functionality. My best weapon is our routine.

Our day can start at any hour, thanks to my husband's work responsibilities, so a strict schedule really doesn't work for us. But a routine is different from a schedule. A routine is a list (ahh, feel the order already?) of things that we do in the same order every day regardless of the time that we start.

The kids each have their own morning routine chart. I make new ones every year and I customize them so that the things that tend fall through the cracks will get caught. For a while we had "turn off your bedroom lights" on the list - pathetic I know, but it saved me from having to remind one particular child that this is mandatory.

Right now the odd-ball assignment on the kids' routines is "pick up hangers." We were somehow getting into the habit of leaving empty hangers strewn all over the bedrooms. Not pretty, so it went on the list. It hasn't solved the problem completely, but I do see progress.

The kids' lists are laminated and have velcro dots so that they can "check" off each task as it is done. Some are static, like "brush your teeth," but other tasks change daily. The "Clean Zone" task is one that works really well for us. When the kids are little I assign which zone they are to focus on in their room every morning. One day it will be cleaning the floor of their closet, and another day they will have to change their sheets.

As the kids get older, they are responsible for telling me what one thing they think they should focus on cleaning in their room each day. (Note: They CAN in fact see what needs to be cleaned. This was an eye opening discovery for me.) I am hoping that eventually this training in seeing what needs to be tidied will pay off in eternally clean rooms ... yeah, I'm dreaming, but it is a nice dream.

Even the 2 year old has her own list. She delights in moving the check marks after she completes each task. Granted, she can't reach her own clothes or squirt her own toothpaste, so she requires help, but she knows exactly what to do every morning.

I love the quote, "Don't expect what you won't inspect."

Oh, so convicting and very true.

So, what am I doing while the kids accomplish their morning routine? I am standing in the hallway folding laundry (A good routine for myself. It keeps it to a manageable heap). I am available to reach high objects, remind dawdlers that they have only x amount of time left, and to ensure that the checked tasks are, in fact, completed. When they are done they stick their chart to my dryer using the magnet I attached to the back.

My goal is to add at least one task to our morning routine every year. At the same time, I also plan to drop something each year too. They do not always need to be reminded to wear underwear. Once it is a habit, it is dropped from the list. Eventually they will be proficient in the obvious, and will be doing that laundry for me, so I will be able to pick up another task to do while supervising them.

When I am diligent at making sure we follow our routine I can feel the change in our home. We are dressed, the upstairs is tidied, and the kids are ready for school.

Not a bad way to start the day.

Think of a solution

I'm hungry. ~ It's hot. ~ I can't find any pants. ~ This is too hard. ~ I don't want that book. ~ I'm tired.

My new response to all of these complaints is now "I can't act on a complaint. Think of a solution and ask for it."

I know it sounds mean. Really, what kind of mother won't give their child something to eat when they say that they are hungry? This mother - the worn out kind. I have no problem with feeding the child, but the entitled, negative attitude is getting on my last nerve.

When did my children loose the ability to ask for help? We haven't always been whiners, but somehow the complaint-monster slowly invaded our house and has now infected my sanity.

Think of a solution and ask for it. I'm happy to answer questions. I'm happy to reach your pants for you. I will gladly open a window or give you an apple.

Just ask.

Listening to Mom

I love that my mom is still busy parenting me.

• When my kids are sick, she calls to make sure that they are improving and to suggest ways to make them more comfortable.
• She babysits at the drop of a hat.
• She calls from the store to see if there is anything that we need or to let me know about a sale.
• She is there to listen when I need a safe place to break down - and to set me straight when I am worried about nothing.
• She is always so gently leading and teaching me when I need it.

And, best of all,

• She tells me to take care of myself. "You sound tired. Maybe you should go to bed early tonight."

Aahh... I love those words!

I hear her words, and then I hear them coming out of my own mouth, telling my kids to be careful on icy steps or to speak kindly to one another. It is funny how often I think "Mom would . . ." and it makes me smile. My 6 year old, on the other hand, doesn't always think that my mom's words are as great as I do "You sound tired. Maybe you should go to bed early tonight." Just doesn't have the same ring to little ears.

I guess that is the sign of a having really great mom - when you intentionally think though situations and wonder, "What would Mom do?"

I am so thankful for my mom and her wise yet gentle guidance!

The best toys I never bought

Banging on pots & pans.

It's fun! It's cheap! It's already in the house!

Most importantly, it holds my little girl's attention long enough to keep her from climbing into the oven while Momma tries to cook dinner, grade math, and prevent world war 3 from igniting between siblings.

It is so important to have those super easy/super distracting activities ready for the crazy moments, especially if your house is anything like mine. Around here all those crazy moments seem to happen on top of each other at exactly 5:00, making me one loopy and frustrated lady by the time dinner gets on the table.

A coffee-can & clothespins, scissors & junkmail, chalk markers & a low window - these simple things can save your life, or at least your sanity as a mom.

I recently coordinated a great swap among a few FIAR moms and received a dozen new insta-distraction kits to keep Little-Miss-Into-Everything occupied. Don't they look like fun! I had the hardest time convincing my big kids not to pounce on the mailman each time he walked up to deliver a new box.

The ideas all came from Preschool Activities In A Bag. They are super simple projects (along the lines of pots & pans, but with a bit more style), but the not-so-secret key to success that they share is to work with other moms and plan for the crazy times. We all know that those moments are coming, so take a few minutes and put JUST ONE activity together, but create multiples of that activity and then swap with other moms for their one activity. When the crazy chaos begins you can whip out your stash of pre-made distractions and peace quickly returns to your house.

Plan ahead - genius!

Maybe I should apply this to the rest of my life

. . . hmmm

. . . interesting thought.

Can my 1 year old read?

Have you ever noticed how some things are meant to be? The stars align, paths converge, and the plans you have work out so seamlessly that you have to look twice and pinch yourself to make sure that you aren't dreaming.

About a month ago I wrote “Potty train baby” on my calendar for the week after Christmas. Baby has always hated a dirty diaper and she notifies us the instant it is damp. In addition, she has been very curious about the toilet for the past 2 months, so the slow week after Christmas seemed like a perfect fit.

Then we had our entire family hit hard by a virus and 3 of us had subsequent infections, including my poor little baby. So, in the interest of keeping life balanced, I decided to give her a break and postpone my plans.

BUT

Monday morning (yup, the same morning with the words “Potty Train Baby” written on the calendar - you'd think the kid could read) baby toddled up to me and signed diaper, but said “Potty” loud and clear. She then grabbed my hand and started running toward the bathroom. Who can say no to that?

That was several days ago. She has been diaper free (during awake hours) ever since, and is doing great! We have had to mop up a couple of puddles, but nothing really to speak of. In fact, she has been dry for the last 18 hours and is now napping in her big girl panties, but just for the record, I emptied the washing machine expecting that she will wake suddenly and I won't be able to move fast enough for her.

If this was my first child I would say that I have the entire potty training thing figured out. THANKS GOODNESS she is my third. This is her game, not mine. She is the one potty training herself. I'm just along for the ride. (not a bad ride so far)

Gotta’ love a girl who knows what she wants . . . and one who does it on Mommy’s schedule is even better.

I'm still wondering if she peeked at my calendar though.

Pearls of Wisdom and Pure Gold

There is a strange kind of magic that happens when a group of moms get together. Over coffee, or more commonly, over a screaming child and another one yelling "I didn't do it," our life stories are shared.

Sympathy

Laughter

Friendship

Understanding

As we share our stories, there is always the moment when another mom suddenly remembers her own experience in the same situation, and then begins to share. In these stories lies pure gold. Bits of wisdom acquired through years of experience, trial and, more often than we care to admit, error.

• Give baby tylenol before getting vaccinations.
• Sharpen colored pencils with your eyeliner (not pencil) sharpener.
• Don't expect anything of your kids if you aren't willing to take the time to check up on them. They are only as industrious as you are.
• Always hand-wash bibs while doing dishes to prevent velcro disasters in the laundry.
• If you say it, enforce it - every time.
• Take pictures of ordinary moments, not just major events.
• Reassign chores every new year.

Yeah, most of these insights aren't earth-shattering, but it makes life a lot easier when you don't have to make each discovery on your own.

Not every bit of wisdom is for everyone. I will never make my own laundry detergent no matter how frugal my friends claim it to be. I can afford the $8 every two months thank you. Nor will I switch my family to an all organic diet. I simply don't see how anyone can market pure maple syrup as "organic" and demand extra cash because of the label. It is always organic folks. Personal preference aside, another mom would love these kinds of tips.

This is the beauty of these friendships. I don't have to use their laundry recipe or shop at their organic store, and they don't have to do everything my way either. The bits of these conversations that I pick and choose to apply to my family make my parenting task easier and assure me that I'm not the only one with a child who chews on his toys or refuses to pull a sweater over her head on her own.

Plus, it's kinda' funny to hear the story of how someone's kid got peas stuck in his ear - and how mom red-faced and stammering confessed to the doctor that it was done by his sister ... then to hear another woman pipe up "Oh that happened to my kids too!"

Laughter - now that's pure gold in itself.

The declining value of medals

With the opening ceremonies of the Olympics being held tonight, it felt appropriate to spend our morning at our final soccer practice of the season.

On our drive home we talked about the opening ceremonies, the games that are held in the winter vs. the summer Olympics, and the medals that the athletes will win. "Oh, I've got lots of those" replied my 6 year old proudly holding up her new soccer medal.

Too true. She has been given a lot. I find them on the floor of our playroom, used as bookmarks, and hanging on bedposts. They are fun trinkets to her, but nothing more. They don't signify years of hard work. They are simply something that every child receives at the end of each sports season.

This frustrates me. Why do we think it is appropriate to reward a kid who doesn't even yet have the skill to compete (we didn't play one soccer game all season) with a medal. I'm okay with recognizing their participation, but why not hand out water bottles or tee shirts or even *gasp* simple high-fives? Why medals?

Our Olympic athletes have been training for their whole lives to make it to these games. They have struggled, fallen, sacrificed, learned, and achieved, but most will still leave the games without a medal. Even so, we hear the same phrase from everyone "Just being at the games is an honor."

I would like to teach my kids the same thing. Enjoy the game.

PS. I'm completely okay with a few Olympic medals coming home with our athletes.

Go Team USA!

Sunscreen Helmets and Hotdogs

As I was slathering sunscreen on my son before the ski race this morning I got to thinking about my obsession with this one particular thing. I am the sunscreen police. (and yes, it is winter, but that doesn't mean that I'll send him outdoors for a 6 hour race without protection)

Everyone has something that they worry about, but it is impossible to worry about everything all the time. Really - you can't protect your kids from everything, so we all just pick and choose which safety items to stress and which to let go. It is a completely random and rather amusing process when you think about it.

I am hyper-vigilant about sunscreen. It is just the way I am. I know that other moms are able to send their kids outdoors without thinking twice about it, but for me - it is important.

On the other hand, I really don't bother with worrying about playgrounds. My kids run, jump, climb, and use equipment improperly all the time, and it just doesn't bother me. I've even gotten flack from other moms for putting my babies on the ground at the park. I'm watching - I can pick the rocks and sand out of their mouth each time they try to taste the ground. I know some of you are sitting there reading this completely horrified, but what can I do? It is the truth.

Some of my friends are okay with putting their babies to sleep on their tummies. To me this one is dangerously taboo - I wouldn't dream of it. (But I'm okay with the rocks - see I told you it was random)

Another friend is great about monitoring her kids food. They eat only organic, locally grown, free range, best of the best food. She would probably fall over and die to watch my kids dance around the house when they learn that they will get hot dogs for lunch.

Helmets seem overkill to me, but I'm good at following rules, so we wear them. I fall into the "we-never-had-those-when-I-was-a-kid" category on this item. And by the way - I am laughing at how similar I am to all the old ladies I used to work with at the nursing home. They loved the "when-I-was-a-kid" phrase.

Now, although I'm unconcerned about bike crashes, I am very concerned about car crashes. Car-seats are all important. I'm willing to spend an extra hundred dollars for a better safety rating. Seriously. Is it really that much safer? I don't know, but I'm not willing to take a chance on this one.

So, I'm okay with my weirdness. The hard part is not judging other moms when their weirdness doesn't match my own . . .

What? You allow your baby to . . . that's so Weird!