In Due Time

It has been a while since I first felt our little girl wiggle back in the beginning of November. Back then I could tell that her arms & legs were on my left, and her head & back were up high on my right - now it feels as if she has a dozen appendages and she is using my bladder for a trampoline.

As her body grows she inevitably becomes more "real" to me. I have been beginning to think more and more about life after this little girl's birth. Will she look more like my husband or I? Will she have a dramatic personality like her sister, or will she be more like her easygoing brother?  And, thinking a bit more practically - what will we name this new addition to our family?

When my first child was born I was blissfully unaware how incredibly difficult it was to take care of a baby. Her brother arrived not even two years later, and I didn't really have time to think about life with two little ones, I just blindly worked from dawn until dusk hoping that all of the fundamentals were covered, but not really able to do much more than the basics. We bustled through the daily routine of feedings, diaper changes, play dates, and temper tantrums.

God decided that, despite our trying, this baby would be spaced 4 years after her siblings. In those 4 years I have learned that the exhausting life with toddlers actually does subside, and now I am a bit hesitant to enter back into that world. Don't get me wrong, I adore the feel of a tiny baby in my arms, their erratic arm movements as they study their own fist, the precious day that they look up at you and smile for the first time . . . it is other things I'm not so excited about. The sleepless nights, constant scent of spit-up on my shoulder, lack time to take care of even the most basic task for yourself without a little one screaming for attention, and never ending cycle of diapers are in all honesty HARD! It is easy to get discouraged when the crying seems unending, or your infant has just ruined her third outfit of the day and it is only 8:00 AM. Life temporarily spins out of control - it is just such an intensely wonderful and taxing time of life.
This week the kids and I stumbled into an amazing sale at Target and we were able to buy a weeks worth of adorable infant outfits for the little one we are currently calling "baby sister." For only a few dollars we bought socks, sleepers, and a fleeting moment of peace of mind for Mommy. Knowing that I have something for her to wear makes her birth feel a bit more manageable. There are a lot of things that I probably should make sure get accomplished before this little one arrives, but in reality I know that no matter how prepared I am, life will change with her arrival.

The truth of life with infants is that it is impossible to fit them into my already comfortable schedule - they create an entirely different world at the moment of their birth.  We will have to find a new comfortable schedule.