Fairness vs. Kindness

We had an interesting conversation over the breakfast table this morning.

Is fairness important?

My husband was reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about a group of men who stole hundreds of millions of dollars, yet are being fined only a tiny portion of that amount, despite being found guilty. Without question, this is not fair to the poor misled investors who lost their assets.

But, how does that play out in our house?

At first glance it seems as if everyone should treat one another fairly ~ Equal portions of cake, equal time at the computer, everyone getting their fair share. Fairness should result in happiness for everyone, right?

Reality doesn't work that way. Not everyone should have cake. A 5 month old doesn't need it and Momma' may not even want it, so should it really be divided in a strictly "fair" way?

Or what about this example? We won tickets a while ago to a big BIG game, but had no interest in the sport, so we gave them away. It wasn't "fair," but it was kind, and we were happier to see the recipients enjoyment much more than we would have been to watch a game in which we have little interest.

We decided that kindness is more important than fairness.

If each person is intent upon treating others kindly, then fairness no longer matters. The baby will receive what she needs, despite being unable to fight for her "fair" share, and the person with the desire to see a game may be provided for, even if they do not have tickets.

Consider Matthew 6:25

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Fairness is being concerned about self - full of worry that things won't equal out in the end; worried that we won't be able to take care of ourselves in the future.

Kindness is being concerned about others - intentionally taking care of the needs that are around you, and allowing God to take care of us in his own timing.

Compelling thoughts for 7AM

God's Practical Gifts

I have been learning a lot about God's gifts recently.

I have this weird tendency to try to put all of God's gifts in tidy categories like these that sound lofty, intimidating and unreachable, but I am learning that God is much more practical than I imagined.

Take for instance the gift of shopping. Yes it could be lumped in with one of those lofty gifts, but in my world shopping is just, shopping, something we do regularly because we need stuff. But now I am learning that shopping can be a gift. I know it sounds strange, so bear with me a second and I will try to make sense of my thoughts.

A lovely lady (who shall remain nameless so that I don't embarrass her) asked how she could help me and I answered that it would be great if she could drop off bread, milk, and fruit. WELL, I expected to receive just that, a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a bag of apples ~ not on this dear woman's watch. We were bowled over with bags of amazing snacks to thrill children's hearts, laundry soap, baby bottles, the specific items that I requested, and much more that we needed, but I didn't even think to ask for. It felt so good, not just to receive the things we were desperate for, but to know that she cares and went to such lengths to help out, even though I'm sure it put a crimp in her own daily routine.

Personally, I am not blessed with the gift of shopping. Had a friend asked me for bread, milk, and fruit, they would have received just that. It would not have occurred to me to bless someone by shopping, but now that I have been personally touched in that way, I can see and feel God at work.

Another really practical gift I have recently become aware of is parenting. A lot of us are parents, but not everyone is gifted in the same way. God knows us, and he grants us wisdom and resources as parents to meet the needs of our children, but the ability to meet the needs of many children at once is not something all of us are able to do.

Then there are people like my sister. She has been given a very special gift. She has not only the passion for many children, but the astounding ability to keep her home running well while chasing several little ones in diapers, educating the older ones, and taking great care to meet the needs of her hearing impaired daughter. God created her this way. It truly is a special calling in her life and I am stunned when I stop and watch her.

God did not create me the same way, and I feel myself struggling to fill my sister's shoes while she is half a world away finalizing the adoption of their newest additions to the family. We currently have 6 adults scrabbling as best we can to take care of their 6 kids and fill the void left by just my sister and her husband. *Have you done the math yet? That is 1 adult to 1 child if we were able to all help out at the same time. The equation is faulty. I swear. Extra kids must be walking through my door when I'm not looking 'cuz the reality is that we are all busy every minute of every day. We are loving it, but we are tired.* Obviously, they (and their God-given abilities) are deeply missed and we anxiously await their return in a few weeks.

God is at work and we don't all serve in the same way. Isn't it interesting how the obvious can become so extraordinary when it touches you personally.

New Bible

This shouldn't be a big deal. The words are all the same; exactly the same.

But it is a big deal.

Buying a new Bible is tricky. First you have to figure out which version you want. And after that it gets even harder because you need to find one that feels right. It has to be precicely the right thickness so that you can flip without looking. If the pages are too thick they won't move right, and if there isn't a nice enough concordance in the back you won't be able to find what you are looking for, even if the pages move perfectly. See, it is tricky!

My old Bible was a gift from my parents. It has my maiden name on it and it has traveled with me everywhere. I am really sorry to let it go but, as you can see in the picture, it needs to. Those aren't notes sticking out of it - they are pages; artfully torn by my little ones.

I found a replacement but it won't be the same. The little notes in the margins will take years to replace, and the worn spots that just fall open to my favorite passages take time to break in.

I sound so snotty - as if I have this Christianity thing down. That's not true. I just really, really miss my blue companion with my old name written on it in silver already.